Setting Gentle Goals

I have a complicated relationship with goals.

One minute I love them and the next, I can't even stand the thought of them.

When I was younger, I used to love the idea of self improvement, but at this point, I'm just so tired of feeling like I need to constantly improve myself so that I can somehow be enough for a perfectionistic culture that values "more" and "better" above all else.

It's exhausting.

So, I kind of put goal-setting on hold for a while.

I've also been dealing with a long-term chronic illness and diagnosed PTSD, so yeah, goals kind of took a back seat for a while.

What I noticed, though, is that I lost a little bit of the spark I used to feel when I was working toward something inspiring and creative.

So, lately I've decided to take a bit more of a gentle approach and create a system that allows for me to work toward things that matter to me, without feeling like I have to hustle, hurry, or work toward some kind of unrealistic or perfect end result.

I really liked this article and have been trying to keep these things in mind as I work to refine my process.

I love the quote in there that says:

"What if, instead of using goals as a way to punish ourselves for not being "enough," we used them as gentle guideposts for growth?"

I don't always love the term "growth" because even that word can make me feel like I'm not enough as I am right now, but I'm trying to reframe it to be more of a creative type of gentle growth rather than a hustle version that's trying to "achieve" higher all the time.

Anyway, right now my process looks like taking baby steps on projects I want to build and checking in daily with my journaling and mental and physical health plan. I try to be compassionate with myself if I need to take days off.

I would share more about my personal process, but honestly, it changes all the time as I need to pivot and readjust based on my health needs. I think we all have to experiment anyway, and try different things that work for us personally. We are all so different in how we set up our lives for joy and fulfillment.

But, here's to setting gentle goals and letting go of the need to hustle!

With love,

from Julia

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A note about inspirational quotes: I've noticed that inspirational quotes don't always apply to me when I'm in survival mode or other states of being, like in times of rest or when things are out of my control. This is why I always check in with myself before taking in the messages. If a quote doesn't feel applicable to me in the moment, I simply ignore it and remind myself that not everything applies to me all the time.

A note about my social values: I recognize that not every person has access to the resources needed to be able to cultivate a life of peace, beauty, and joy, which is why I will always support systems and people who are doing the work to move toward a world that supports the basic needs and rights of all people. I believe that "the true measure of any society can be found in how it treats its most vulnerable members." - Gandhi