Why I Stopped Chasing My Dreams (and What I Do Instead)

I've always been a passionate dreamer.

As a young child, I would dream of being a pop star, rocking the Madonna gloves, blue eye shadow, and pink earrings while singing with a plastic microphone on a pretend stage to an imaginary audience.

In elementary school, I made paper purses to "sell" to my friends (I didn't sell any) and by middle school, I was selling homemade hair bows to the neighbors. (I think one kind neighbor bought one, just to be nice.)

In high school, I started a band with my friends (which quickly fell apart after our first gig at a church dance that left me in tears).

Later, I tried selling my art at a local craft mall (which resulted in maybe two sales) and ended in me packing up the unsold works and throwing them in the garbage.

But it's always been about this noble act of chasing my dreams.

You know, the dreams that were "put in my heart" for a reason.

"God will provide a way," they said.

"It's worth it," they said.

"You have a purpose and a mission," they said.

"The universe will have your back," they said.

Except that's not really what happened for me.

Over the years, the act of chasing my dreams really just left me

tired,

defeated,

and heartbroken,

And one day, I just kind of woke up.

I confronted reality and faced the fact that I don't really like chasing anything at all.

I don't like to hustle.

I don't like to sell.

I don't like to feel trapped in a system that expects me to mass produce anything like a machine.

So I decided to change my approach.

Instead of "chasing my dreams" I decided to simply "engage with my passions."

It's basically just - do the things I love to do and do it in a gentle way.

And that has changed everything for me.

I no longer try to make money or build a huge platform with the things I create.

I just make things.

I put them out into the world in spaces that feel gentle and easy, not hurried or calculated.

I bounce around in all the different spaces, without thinking about algorithms and analytics.

My numbers are small, but the peace is profound.

My numbers are small, but the peace is profound.

I'll most likely never reach the masses with this approach, but it works for me.

Because, at the end of the day,

peace and joy is the goal for me (not bigger numbers and more stuff).

It's the little things that matter most, after all.

With love,

from Julia

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A note about inspirational quotes: I've noticed that inspirational quotes don't always apply to me when I'm in survival mode or other states of being, like in times of rest or when things are out of my control. This is why I always check in with myself before taking in the messages. If a quote doesn't feel applicable to me in the moment, I simply ignore it and remind myself that not everything applies to me all the time.

A note about my social values: I recognize that not every person has access to the resources needed to be able to cultivate a life of peace, beauty, and joy, which is why I will always support systems and people who are doing the work to move toward a world that supports the basic needs and rights of all people. I believe that "the true measure of any society can be found in how it treats its most vulnerable members." - Gandhi